In search of calm a midst the confusion

Was in Benaras for a few days. I went looking for calm in the confusion, the strength of meditation, the power of the 'Sadhu'. I came back with the understanding that the mind is where the sadhu resides and the journey, the meditation. I met many saints, travelers, local people, but this man stood out. He lives near a wall in 'Dashwamedha ghat' in Benaras. For one whole day I watched him making his smoke, sleeping near the wall, behind which live snakes, light diyas in the evening. On the second day he called me and asked, "Kya chahiye", I told him I want to learn how to make and smoke the Chillum..he laughed..and asked me to take a puff..when I asked for more he said 'Pagal pan abhi baki hai kya?" we had great conversations..most evenings..I took back a lot from him..at last he told me.." aap hi Ma ho..aap hi mein bhagwan..dhundna band karo"

In madness I belong

In times of creativity, bounding on relativity,
My mind hovers over the infinite-
In the inferno that boils within,
sometimes placating, sometimes bizarre,

What is it about the search?

Is craziness this, is love this,
and then I think again...
In serenity I want madness, In tranquility I find no peace
A face that eludes the soul,
A smile not brazen enough-
What is this madness that I seek
Of demons and angels that co- exist?

When Passion makes its flights of fancy,
And encompasses the zeal to see the naked-
The 'MOULD' then turns a mere fancy for things that lie within,
The spoken word of love and peace juggle in vain-

A pair of eyes with their questions, try my heart strings again.
A gesture, a word at times don't suffice
For love that burns within-

A madness in the soul I seek,
Not tepid words herein-
'I love u' s and 'Muaah's are just so passe...
Where's the feeling I say
If love were to life
As life were to love
Then let the madness begin.

In the dance of the Lord, that mourned his wife and tore to bits herself,
Of falling parts and embers deep-
Places of worship they become
Aye that's the madness that love begets, and a passion that is FELT!
For madness and worship are words that bring
Sense to sanity and insanity within....

Thus in the madness thou shalt find,
An inferno raging 'PEACE'
And then shall they the 'eyes' tell of the story within.

Of a love and life that of madness only sing
And a peace therein that flows, now tepid, silent and unassuming......

© 2009 Maitreyee Bhattacharjee Chowdhury