Wednesday, December 19, 2012

The humiliation of being the 'weaker sex'

Every time a rape case happens, people are agitated..the police are questioned on their inactive-ness, etc etc and then most of it is again conveniently forgotten till the next girl is raped somewhere.. Immediate police action, stringent rules and severe punishment are necessary as much as it is necessary to change the attitude of people.

Far too many men in India and outside also grow up to a thought process that they can say and do anything to a woman and get away with it in the corporate world, amongst colleagues in small and big offices or public places.

There are so many, so called gentlemen, who are erudite and have all the qualities of a decent man, but many a times when it comes to talking about women with other men even publicly, its just about 'some random chick' kind of attitude. The weaker sex, are of course meant to sprout nice flowery things and are largely perhaps of no great consequence when it comes to deciding important matters or taking decisions. The only women such a man probably considers his equal is one who not only imbibes masculine traits( In terms of dressing like a man and not feminine), sprouting language like men do, backslapping men and those who have financial control over their future or careers. 

Women who want to be recognized by men, and are at the top of things especially in sectors where there is a lot of male dominance( like Banking, real estate, etc) also strangely feel the need to be one of the boys in order to be accepted.

Any rape begins with the intent to humiliate apart from the physicality, part of it, allied with the knowledge that they can get away with it both in terms of physical strength and laws that govern the country.

Women on the other hand,(most of them and esp Indians) have been taught as children to adjust to the whims , fancies and temperament of men. Their upbringing does not naturally make them believe that they can hit/rape/shout at men and get away with it. None of which is of course desired in either sex.

I have plenty of friends who are male, extremely courteous and sensitive not only of the manner in which they behave with women, but also how they regard a woman in her absence. It is also true that when a girl is raped, any kind of action and strategic decision that would be taken to punish these offenders would be done more efficiently by men perhaps. As a child if a mother does not teach her son that hitting your sister and getting away with it is not okay, rape shall perhaps continue till the day the mindsets are changed and the laws too. As a mother, if you have not given your son a tight slap, every time he tries to make a woman feel low, you have bred a rapist perhaps.

What can I say that hasn't been said before, just that I'm a bit numb now. I have a daughter and I fear for her, I fear for myself and am angry that the way I live my life is dictated by these morons. It is just the tiny hope that saying it again and again will teach a certain section of men that certain things are not acceptable & that we shall NOT continue to live without a fight, if it comes to that & it will come to that perhaps, we shall fight, not for the pain of being raped, but for the humiliation of being treated the weaker sex.

( Picture from the Internet)


Blue Lotus said...

Well put.If mothers don't teach their sons to respect women things will never change..

And in between all this it enrages me to find comments like,

"Why should women go out in the night? What gain do they intent to make working late hours?"

"It's all western media's fault!"

Well,it is not about women staying out late into the night or the media becoming westernized.

It is about how someone can think that he can commit such a heinous
crime and get away with it!

Meenakshi Malhotra said...

we are on the same frequency - feeling the same pain, humiliation. I have also written on the similar lines - hoping if it could make a difference!

Pattu Raj said...

The pain and anguish is shared by all of us.
I saw a thoughtful post in Hindu - may be you too have, link here.

sibi said...

Worst cases are reported these days from the 'sweet homes' where girls expect the maximum security. There are several cases of Child molestation within the family. I have narrated a story of a little girl (who carried the scar for several decades) in my review of Paulo Coelho's Aleph. (

CYNOSURE said...

a perfect picture of the Indian society beautifully put down in few words...just wish all this shit comes to an end asap... :O

Maitreyee Bhattacharjee Chowdhury said...

Thank you all for reading and for your comments. Many a times I hear that talking is useless, yes doing something about it is far more useful..but then speaking about it is perhaps as necessary..the more people speak out the more people understand why Rape is so so wrong!

Kirti Gautam said...

I just say, Rape is not a crime .... it is social crime. It starts because society wants and always start from house.